a poem...

I've found this poem... from an anonymous writer. It comes together with a picture but it... like what I am experiencing... Like how i am feeling currently.. thought i should share it here as well...

I try to convince myself that you don't really exist
You are just a voice that lingers deep within my soul
Slowly eating away at me altering all reality

Then I see you from a distance
My heart begins to shatter again
I was reminded by what you did to me

I try to let the rain wash away the pain
But the pain will always remain
Locked away deep inside

Trapped by the loneliness
Entwined by the betrayal
And kept alive by the emptiness

I pray to forget you
Let you fade away so I can go on
But your voice has engraved itself into my memory

Consuming me further into this nightmare
Leaving me Lost and forever bound to the pain.

happy 2010? Not for me perhaps...

Well.. 2010... Is here and I'm still as miserable as it is... But I've decided... even if I'm drowning, Dying, bleeding... I have to let her go... I love her way too much to actually hurt her... I prefer her happy smiles... her happy self... but I'd like it more if it was me who makes her happy... I'd love to spend 2010 together like we did in 2009... But reality is there, grinning and smiling evilly down at me... hindering me from what i really wished for...

So yeah... I've decided to let her go... Cause if she really do love me... She'll come back to me... and I know there and then she's mine... but if she doesn't come back to me... I'll wish her all the best and will support her towards her happiness... No matter what I still love her..

But stepping into 2010... reminds me of the time where we spend new year's eve together... We drank alcohol and i got drunk... Waking up in her arms... I cherish those moments alot... But I prefer to have these beautiful memories and recreating a new and better one.. not a dull and sad one... but nothing can be helped i guess...

Still... Happy 2010. I wish everyone all the best... And i wish her.. to always, always be happy, stress free and away from diseases. I love you lots "S"... And i loved you since 2007...